thumb nail

while at the social security office with my mom this morning, i went to pull out a chair, slipped and my nail snapped off... its the first time i have ever broken a nail. up until about 5 months ago i didnt have nails.... and it hurts so bad! :(

I'm not in a dilemma anymore. My dad is cuttin 'em today for sure!

Song relating to me.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/goodbye-lyrics-kristinia-debarge.html
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/avril+lavigne/girlfriend_20396793.html
http://www.lyrics007.com/Usher%20Lyrics/You%20Make%20Me%20Wanna%20Lyrics.html

yep...
I think i wanna watch another movie. OH and I did NOT like the Alphabet Killer. It scared me.

2% of the population have first and name lame same initials. Well thats me, and one of my (girl) best friends also. I am AA, and she is MM, and one of my guy best friends if his first and middle were flipped he would be TT... :o

2%... i always seem to be that damn 2% of the population. It has only failed once, so far.

Time

http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/katy-perry-lyrics/mannequin-lyrics.html
Love this song. :) I love the way her voice sounds when she sings this song. :)
(I think it kind of sounds like mine, just better)


Time:
what a funny thing, kind of like love, but you cant just throw time around like it doesnt mean anything.
Hurry up and wait for me, does it even make sense?
I think thats how humans run. They think they are running out of time, so they rush through their lives not even looking around to stop and take a breath, and look around.

sure time doesnt wait, but you have to wait for the right time to do anything. you cant rush time, because then you dont stop to see what you're missing.
I'm not saying its wrong or anything, its how we're programed.

But I'm slowing down. after x ended it with me, i realised i was rushing. i was rushing everything so i think i was what when wrong. I have come to deal with that now, and I'm okay with it. But i know what i did wrong, and i know what not to do anymore.. So even though i think we are all programed to speed through life, i'm fighting myself everyday to just slow down and take each day as it comes. i still like plans to be in place, but if they dont happen it doesnt drive me as crazy as it did a few years, heck a few months ago.
Slow down, time will always be there, it'll be there even after we're not.



Emotions:
So many. So many i did know about. So many that i forgot about. So many that feel so good.
Sweaty palms, fast heart, nervous, shaking, anxiety (the good kind).

I forgot what all of these were. I was stuck in a routine for so long, they all disappeared. i was put in a situation today that was unplanned, unexpected, uncontrollable by me, and i didnt panic.

I'm really good about wanting something, getting it, getting scared and pushing away. Dont let me push away; i'll ruin a good thing.

This may not be anything, it may be something great. But dont let me ruin it before either of us have a chance to find out. I dont want to be someone that says "what if..."

Inspired

Bluest Eyes wrote a blog about the summer and her grandmother.
And i just got to thinking about my grandparents on my dads side.

My grandfather died three years ago this coming Halloween, and i only have one memory of him. Its not even a good one, he yelled at me when i was 6.
Thats all i know about him. But now that I'm older, and that is the only memory i have of him, i have to cherish it even though it isnt the best. Now that I'm older, even though i cant spend time with him, i wish i knew him better as a person. Now all i'll get are stories, and the one memory i have of him.

I got Super Saiyans' parents an iPod shuffle, i think i have already mentioned it... if not it came in today. and hopefully i can give it to them Friday.
(but in my mind everyday is Friday until its actually Friday, then it becomes Sunday.)

So i did one of the biggest stupidest changes... My major.
I talked to my dad about it, and the conversation in my head was a ton lot worse then the one that actually took place. he wasnt even mad. So for now, I'm going to finish up my BA in English, and then i have to go back and get a BS or BA in something else, because English majors/degrees are not respected as well as anything else. And he sees it first hand at his job, and doesn't like it.

"....
Need that picture of you
It so magical, we'd be so fantastical

...
Not sure what it means
...

I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me
Papa, paparazzi
Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be
Your papa, paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me
Papa, paparazzi"

this song has been stuck in my head since i went on my last trip....
maybe its some kind of sign? hahaha? I'll find out soon enough.

Nasty sandwich

this is why i dont change my sandwich choices at places i like. i like this submarina place, and i've been getting peppered feista. today i got chickenbreast. and its nasty. every other piece has some un-etable part and its nasty and cold.. even after being toasted. i still like this place but less then i did last time i came.

love?

What a funny word? Its thrown around so playfully now-a-days.
I love a lot of people.
but I dont love anyone.
I have loved before.
now love is no more.


I am not sorry, but did realize last week that I stopped loving you a long time ago.
I just didnt let myself believe it because you were the best excuse I could have had for some of the things I did.
I loved the idea of being in love with you.
I am sorry for the awful ways I treated you.
But I am not sorry anymore for us or what happened to us or even how it ended.


Other news:
I fear I am still doing something awful to another. But its to early to tell...

repeated

I wanted to cried for you, while i held you.

you're amazing. you were much quicker on wanting to de-Pikachu-tizing your room and house then i was. i'm still finding things....

its not going to be easy, as i have said, but i believe in you. you have (at least) five people standing by willing to listen. two may not be able to talk in person but Tall Man and WhiteMM are willing to talk over the phone.
You know where i live, come over anytime you need to.
the last two: your parents, even though one is technically your step-dad, he might be more helpful then you think.

So i thought my mom would be mad at me staying the night, but after you left today she understood. she agreed that 3 am driving wouldnt be a good idea and the smart thing to do was stay over.

Next:
My nails are getting long again..... i should really figure out how to cut them.. but i wont, so for now i'll just let my dad continue to cut them.. haha
but at the same time i like them long, because i like looking at light through them.
I'm in a dilemma.... kind of.

My day:
stayed in bed till around noon today. got up and had banananana pancakes for lunch. (Super Saiyans' mom made them, and they were amazingly good!) then Super Saiyan and i talked for a little bit, and cleaned up some more. then watched DBZ for about 3 ish hours.. and then he took me home, and talked to my dad for about an hour about his job, i think, i left the room. and then he left after my mom got home. and then i finished watching a movie i started Wednesday night (Strictly Sexual), and watched another movie after it (The Babysitters), and now i'm watching another one (The Alphabet Killer).

the first two have tones of sex in them, and the last one is so far about a guy that is killing pre-teen to teen girls, and the cops are tracking him down.

Last:
all will be good again. I'm going to sort out the pictures now... now that I'm home and can look through them for an hour.


Random- repeated:
it will be hard. you will never forget, no matter how hard you try or want to. it does, it really does get better. dont forget her replacement name. came over anytime. DBZ available. and we'll never run out of things to talk about.. haha


Thanks for being there when i needed you, even though i kneed your knee.
and i will always bee here for when you need me. what else are besties for?

its only 930

It doesn't feel like 930. Today is the day for a lot of things. I met a good bunch of Super Saiyan's family at the luncheon, and then we picked up two of the boys (his nephews) and took them to go see Iron Man 2. :)

There is something at the end, so stay to watch it (or YouTube it). It is very short, but it is a BIG cliff hanger!

Another thing that is going to happen today... I'm getting sad, and butterflies. :(

I wasnt home very much today. So keep checking back at the other blog for the picture update. I think i'll put up a reminder blog when I get around to putting them up. Or if it takes another week, I'll just put them in a new blog.

I forgot to mention that his mom bought me an Eeyore shirt, which is awesome... But super see through.. so i have to find a shirt to wear under it. :) But I'm going to wear it next time we all hang out. :)


Sittin' and Waitin'... its all I can do right now... :s

mama told me not to play with food.

This is WhiteMM's creation. She was the one playing with pepperonis.

trip add on

Check back at this one.. sometime late Sunday. this is where I'm posting pictures.

The biggest thing we found out the most about about, was in almost every situation we were put into.. i was "never" wrong. as he said.
but i was; at least twice.

i said i never dropped anything and then i picked up a pot, and the bottom of it fell off, and Shattered ALL over the floor.

and the other time... i just had it but now i cant remember. Hopefully it comes back. But i was wrong, and I'm admitting it.. haha

As far as all that goes. I was incredibly awesome at [missing words]. I should get a gold star. Hope you like your Spurs gift(s). :)


*REMEMBERED:
The other time i was wrong was when i thought we were in Madisonville, and we were actually in Giddings.
Pictures will start here... eventually:

My trip (going to be a LONG one)

pictures will come in another blog

He/his/him = Super Saiyan

Day one:
Thursday May 13th, 2010.
His mom and step-dad (parents from here out) come to pick me up. 9 am.. went to bed at 2am after talking to Super Saiyan. I had everything packed, and ready to go... just like my Mama told me to. :) ... and i didnt even tell my cat i was leaving, i just left.. (he had a fit the whole three days i was gone)
Random: I found out that his step-dad is a Scorpio, and his mom is a Libra.... and because my birthday is right on the change, I'm "technically" both. (his mom brought it up) but she thought it was cool, and said something super sweet to me. (its not relevant here, but i liked it)

They listen to the most random collection of songs. I suggested they get an iPod and an adapter so they can just put their collection onto that, and have it on shuffle, so they can continue to listen to random music at all times. I might buy them one

first stop. Buc-ee's! I was eye-ballin this sand gadegt there and thought i would by it on the way back.. this will come into play later. While there i called WhiteMM and told her where we were, and what was going on... and then found out that in an earlier conversation (a week ago), we were not on the same page about something, and plans needed to change. I all of a sudden didnt have a place to stay. So i texted Super Saiyan, and told him about what went wrong, and he said i could stay in his room. SWEET!

we made two more stops.
and a Buc-ee's and Giddings, and one in Madisonville. (yes his mom has an obsession with Buc-ee's)

We arrive in Nac, Super Saiyan was "Starving!?!" so we went out to eat at a Chinese Buffet. its was alright.
Then back to his room we went. we were going to watch a movie, but he told me that he had one last homework assignment to do, that he didnt want to do.... I made him do it, cuz i (tried to) ignore him until it was done. Then his roommate Tall Man walked in with boyfriend (not actually boyfriend, just the name we gave that other guy cuz of the way they talk to each other and hang out).. his roommate ruined everything.... he was there for about an hour and a half, then he left. An hour after that Super Saiyan finished his LAST homework assignment for his BS degree. EVAR.
The only good thing Tall Man and boyfriend did while there was helped me get internet connection to my notebook, cuz Super Saiyan was bein a Jerk for some reason and wouldnt help me.
We were going to watch a movie, but then his mom texted him saying they were going to Wal*Mart, and would pick us up after that, cuz they got a room with two beds when they made the reservations, and they invited me to stay in there room with Super Saiyan.

So while we waited for them, which was about as long as the movie would have been, we talked about his situation... i never help with how the outcome should be from a situation like his, and through our (900th) talk about this, he decided what he wanted to try to do.
His parents got us, and we went back to their hotel room, and watched the movie anyway, Riding in Cars with Boys (one of me favs) which lasted til about 2 am, then went to bed.

Next morning:
Friday May 14th, 2010

I was laying in bed spacing out (as i usually do, until my mind and body talk to each other saying I'm awake) ... I was looking down at the end of the bed, and his mom comes from the doorway looks over at me and says "stop staring at him" which brought me back to Earth, and i realized where should would have gotten that idea.... So i just turned around cuz i didn't want to explain .. his parents went out to breakfast, which neither of us noticed, cuz i went back to sleep having nothing else to do.... When they got back i turned around to see what was going on, and kneed Super Saiyan.... He didnt even realized that i had, until later.. his knee hurt.. i do think, now, that is the one i kneed.

Day goes one to:
Caddoan Mounds. It was super cool! His mom didnt take any Clay or roll down the hill like i thought she could. haha. on the way there i saw a random old lady standing in a moo-moo next to a tree looking at someone mowing a lawn. And after we were done there we went on a side adventure! Down Weeping Mary Street. It leads to a town called... who'd guessed?! Weeping Mary.. we didnt investigate to find out why... but i think it has something to do with a person named Mary, that was weeping about something.. haha.. And the people there are so Nice... We didnt get out of the car, but they all waved at us. And his mom kept making Zombie jokes! HAhaha i love his mom.. she makes laugh so much! His step dad is super funny too,.... when he talks.. he is a very quite person. haha

After that we went to Clear Springs café, and found out where Colonel Sanders has been hiding out, he lives on the stairs in the café. he has Not been dead for the past 30 years, just hiding out in Naca-Nowhere. :)
he had a bacon cheeseburger, i had some chicken strips, his parents both had chicken friend stake. my sides were rice and green beans, his mom had corn and rice, and his step-dad had green beans and corn.. (i notice patterns really easily) Super Saiyan didnt have any sides, so he got my green beans. :)

when we were done eating, his parents took us back to his dorm room so we could pack it up. that was fun. It took us two hours to do, then we talked some more... we never run out of things to talk about... even if we're just talking about things that happened that same day.. we just get each others takes on it. its amazing!
we were talking the whole time we were packing as well.. we just dont stop talking.
we bother had interesting dreams, his more so than mine, so we talked about his,.. it made me smile.. :)

we were going to watch a movie this time as well, but when he told his parents that, there was some miscommunication, and they came to get us to pack his stuff into the car, to go see a movie in the theaters, which we never got to, we went back to the hotel room. Super Saiyan and I were hungry, but his parents were not. We ordered Pizza, with Pineapples on it... It was good. we split it in half between the two of us, (duh!) and i had had eaten all my half of four pieces before he had even finished three.... (I'm not too proud of that) I was hungry.

We decided that was wanted to try to get to bed earlier... hahaha... and he found out one of my most embarrassing secrets... which i will not post.... it really is super Embarrassing... The going to be earlier.. haha did work. we were up till just before midnight talking, and trying not to laugh loudly.... which worked for most of the time, until my secret was used... then he'd just bust out laughin at me.. :(
Hahaha (i think he did it on purpose)
he tried to push me off the bed, and knee me as well.. neither worked.

that was the end of that day.

Final day:
Saturday May 15th, 2010

6:30am-7?am
AWAKE, function, getting up.
no interesting dreams this day.
we got up, and i got all dolled up did my hair into "pigtails", and got on my dress and set aside my clothes for after the reception.

8:00am
Check out of hotel, packed everything up, and into car. Put clothes aside for after the after party.

8:15-8:30am
Still yawning, and not functioning..
We get to the place where the whole thing is Goin DOWN! and we sit, and wait... and wait.... he and i were texting this whole waiting time.we both ate an apples for breakfast. it was a good apple.

9:00am
We are trying to fine where each other is sitting. his family and i found him LONG before he found us. he didnt find us until he came walking down from the precession.
not much happened here.
we were texting during his waiting. he has a T starter last name... so it was a while. haha.

11:30am
He got up and lined up to walk "the" stage, and his step-dad, mom, Tall Man, Squeeze, and i all screamed (HIS NAME!), and he didnt hear us cuz he was to terrified, and got off as quickly as he could.. haha.

12:15pm
at the end, he was walking out (or so we thought, turns out he was walking to us) and we were walking to him.. which we thought was out. so we went outside, which was maga hot! and waited for a while for him to come out, as i was texting him trying to get him to find out.

12:30-12:45pm
That didnt work, his parents wanted to get going cuz it was hot, and i started walking with them, just as they were down the walk way, he said he was where we were, so i turned around to find him so we could walk together as i already lost his parents, and hate walking anywhere alone.
So i found him!

12:4?pm
then we started walking to the reception place.
but found a girl that he worked with first, and she wanted a picture, which i steped out of. but she asked what my relation to him was, sister, fiance?
Well first, i'm supa white, and he's mexican... so sister out. and next.. no... he didnt hear what she had asked so i told him after we started walking again, and to sum up what he said basically no, because neither of us have that kind of ring. haha.
i'd be mad if i were without a ring... hahaha.
we found his parents woo-hoo! and he gave his Stole to his mama, it was cute. :) then we striped.... out of jackets and robe and went to eat free food...

12:45-1:30pm
FREE FOOOOOOOOD! was good. the pineapple was fresh and really juicy.
there was other stuff, but it wasnt nearly as good as the pineapple.

1:35pm
Made our way back to the car for the street clothes. and went to change, i almost left my phone in the girls bathroom.
And guys take FOR-EV-ER to change!

just before 2:00pm
We're all changed and comfy, and "ON THE ROAD AGAIN!"
Super Saiyan and i started watching "The Blind Side"
on the portable DVD player i took up. apparently watching a movie in a moving car makes Super Saiyan, not so super. and more motion-sick. so he had to stop watching and was just listening to it. we took turns falling asleep and taking pictures of each other. hahaha. he had the cutest smile its so adorable when he doesnt know someone is taking a picture of him... just so everyone knows. :)

somewhere between the Madisonville and the Giddings Buc-ee's his mom, who is totally awesome!, bought that little sand thing that i told you to remember in the beginning of this blog. it was awesome.


So we got into San Antonio at around 7:30pm, and i got home at 8:10pm, unloaded my stuff from their car, gave him a hug, and his graduation gift.. and his family invited me to his graduation lunch thing... which i thought was just for family, so that was super cool

I also have a killler headach from getting up early, and satying up all day, and recalling the last three days of my life for a massive blog.... pain.. but I also ate for the first time ever an organic apple, which was really good. A little too soft, like a yellow apple.. but it was red, but still really good. :) and my cat clawed my in the finger, after the dog bit me in the figure (same one)


And thank you so much for the honesty and the laughs, Super Saiyan... i will never look at a soda/water cap the same. hahaha

Congrats again! And thanks for picking out the color. I'm sure your parents will love it. :) ... if they can figure it out.. hahaha! see you tomorrow. Dont forget your Buc-ee's shirt!

Next:
Sunday May 16th, 2010
And it is now 12:15 Am. I started this blog at 9:18... recalling memories hurts... head.. achs... Sleeeeeeepp.

NIGHT!

On the road again.... (again)

I will update my trip when i get home for sure with all the pictures... but we're only about two and a half hours into the drive home. Super Saiyan is not felling so super saiyan. :(
and the car is super cold. his mom and step-dad have kept the AC on 65 the whole time.

after the graduation, a random girl came up to take a picture with him, and asked if i was his fiance. hahaha. :)
i was lookin supa fine! wore a dress, did my hair, and had one some nice heel-less flats.
then we went to a luncheon.. his mama is funny, and i make her laugh to.. she asked her husband if they can take me around everywhere they go. haha. after that we got changed into our street clothes after that.
we're currently on highway 21. just outta cowdwell texas. :)

tomorrow they are going to Acadana for lunch. and it was just going to be a family thing, but then his mama invited me to go along.

sweet! Acadana is so good.

He's alive!

Cr Sanders lives on the steps at clear springs cafe. haha

wall-paper

clear springs cafe womens bathroom. someone didnt like the wall paper.

Do your ears hang low?

made it to where i was going. :) all safe and stuff..... for now. :}
so yep. hanging out watching movies and eating these things that are 3 months old..... they still taste good. :]

Warning!

NOT responsible for broken windshields!

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

Oh no!

Oh No. the hay bail monsters are out!!! hehehe

On the road again! ooohh

On the road again!
ooohh on the road again!
:}

walking. May 12th

TH, sis, and I were walking around Target today, and this little boy ran into TH. and she didnt say anything about it, we just kept walking, then from behind us this boy turns to his mom and asks "Was that a boy, mommy?" we looked at TH and started laughing. she did do anything about that either, just started laughing and said when she worked at Disney World, she got called a guy all the time.

I cleaned more of my room, and packed today.. Eeeeeeee!!! We are leaving tomorrow. :)

update on room

its getting there???

Where ever there is..