Inspired

Bluest Eyes wrote a blog about the summer and her grandmother.
And i just got to thinking about my grandparents on my dads side.

My grandfather died three years ago this coming Halloween, and i only have one memory of him. Its not even a good one, he yelled at me when i was 6.
Thats all i know about him. But now that I'm older, and that is the only memory i have of him, i have to cherish it even though it isnt the best. Now that I'm older, even though i cant spend time with him, i wish i knew him better as a person. Now all i'll get are stories, and the one memory i have of him.

I got Super Saiyans' parents an iPod shuffle, i think i have already mentioned it... if not it came in today. and hopefully i can give it to them Friday.
(but in my mind everyday is Friday until its actually Friday, then it becomes Sunday.)

So i did one of the biggest stupidest changes... My major.
I talked to my dad about it, and the conversation in my head was a ton lot worse then the one that actually took place. he wasnt even mad. So for now, I'm going to finish up my BA in English, and then i have to go back and get a BS or BA in something else, because English majors/degrees are not respected as well as anything else. And he sees it first hand at his job, and doesn't like it.

"....
Need that picture of you
It so magical, we'd be so fantastical

...
Not sure what it means
...

I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me
Papa, paparazzi
Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be
Your papa, paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me
Papa, paparazzi"

this song has been stuck in my head since i went on my last trip....
maybe its some kind of sign? hahaha? I'll find out soon enough.

Nasty sandwich

this is why i dont change my sandwich choices at places i like. i like this submarina place, and i've been getting peppered feista. today i got chickenbreast. and its nasty. every other piece has some un-etable part and its nasty and cold.. even after being toasted. i still like this place but less then i did last time i came.

love?

What a funny word? Its thrown around so playfully now-a-days.
I love a lot of people.
but I dont love anyone.
I have loved before.
now love is no more.


I am not sorry, but did realize last week that I stopped loving you a long time ago.
I just didnt let myself believe it because you were the best excuse I could have had for some of the things I did.
I loved the idea of being in love with you.
I am sorry for the awful ways I treated you.
But I am not sorry anymore for us or what happened to us or even how it ended.


Other news:
I fear I am still doing something awful to another. But its to early to tell...