Last saturday ... the 9th

I woke up. Drat.
I didnt have to work so i went with me mom to get her car's oil changed. while we were waiting we went to Denny's for breakfast. We saw our neighbor there with a group of his friends. They were just finishing up and leaving as we got our food. Then we got the car back, went hom for about an hour and left again. This time to take Famine to the Vet.

The vet.
The vet wanted a poop sample from Famine so they could run the semi-annual tests.
OF COURSE!
He had no poo to give from the night before or the morning of.
We didnt put Famine in the cat cage this time, so The ride over to the vet was Fun! He was placed in the back on his leash and stated meowing and walkin around. we had the windows cracked so that he couldnt jump out, but could get some air.
I felt bad for him because it was hot blowing hot air from the window on him and he is an almost completly black cat... He was panting and sweating from the pads of his paws.

At the Vet.
I had to inform the vet that i was sure my cat knew he was going to the vet so he didnt poo for us. thus, no sample.
we got to one of the rooms and he started his usual business of marking things with the sent on his face cheeks, and he did his exam very well!... except when it came to getting his nails clipped. he went Cra-ZY! he started hissing at the vet tech.

The vet has a cool new instrument, well i thought it was cool, i think that pets hate it just as much as the old one. The new thing is a temp and poo taker. it does 2 in one! so only one thing goes up the pets butt... haha.
the poo tests came out negative, which is good. :)

as my mom was paying, he was walking around in the restroom for clients. I was Really hoping it wasnt because he finally had to poo.

On the Road Again... To Home.
Famine was panting again this time we turned on the AC and i pulled him up front and put his face infront of the vent. I thought i was being a considerate owner, and he took this time to get into a comfortable Pooing position, and poo'd on me!!!!!
OH BOY!!!!
it was stinky! so we turned off the AC, put Famine in the back seat again and rolled down the windows to get the smell out!
Then after we took famine home my mom and I left again, and went to Dicks Sporting Goods to get some weights.

That Was Just My Saturday!

water spot

Good thing tax season was extended this year! This is what we came into this morning that we wouldnt have know about if we had closed this past friday. and the place that flooded us wouldnt have been around till 12.

its looks like this all in the front by Mr.84! desk, and a stream of it to where the trio of Po/SupaWife/JW sit and where CG/DA/DW sit. but the back two are fine and the boss' desk is currently untouched.

we have 10 computers including the two i have in the front. Out of the ten only 4 work. the rest have water damage. Well one of mine works but it is connected to a power strip that was submerged in water, so it probably got fried.

again, Where the boss sits and were the best taxpro sits, those are the only ones that work.

the assistant property manager came out cuz the property manage herself is in houston and will be back tomorrow. the APM called the water company they deal with and told them to get a team together to come suck up the water before mold starts to set in. so they should be by today.

the place next to us a nail salon, it was one of the foot machines. a pipe under it busted. so if they are smart they will sue the plumbers that they hired that didnt cap the pipe right... because they are getting charged for everything in our office (which it to thier right), and the office next to us (to our right, if it has anything) and the other office to the left of them.. after monday if the property manager needs to get into this office she'll have to call our distric office, so i gave the APM the number to the distric office.


FUN FUN day! :)

****Breaking News:****

****Breaking News:****
The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On and crashed into We All Have Problems before coming to a complete stop at Get Over It.
----Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-waah or email to whocares@notme.com.----
Reporting LIVE... from Quit Complaining

hahahaha from a friend on facebook.




and unfortunately, although there really isnt a definitive way of actually ever knowing, i think i'm partially in love. its kind of really pathetic.. and it is possible the undercurrent of why my relationships have fail, and i'm uninterested in most of the male population. but since i'm not sure, and may never be sure, i'll just leave it at that for now, and figure out how to get over it next.

this is the paper it comes with.

i got a pin

at work today. for being there for three years. i didnt even know that we got anything other then "thanks for working with us this long. Yay you!"

2 things and 3 blogs.

i have one questions and one request:

Request:

as you can tell i changed up my blog layout, something i havent done since i start the blog.. And i wanna know how it looks... I obviously like it, but i want to know if it is too hard to read, or something.. please leave feedback.

Question:

How do you know or assume if you are in love with someone? This is a serious question that i have been fighting myself over for the past few weeks, but i dont have a clue.. i wouldnt even know where to began, on if i know or not.

You can either leave a comment here; if you personally know me text, email, or FB me.

i had an eye appt

i had an eye appt today, and got approved for lasik!! im so excited. im getting a call back this week for the lasik appt date.

you and i

i wish we were better friends, you and i. i know there are so many things in our way that prevent it, and we have very few things in common to solidify it.

you and i talk mostly in the summer but not much during the rest of the year. one summer will come and go, when the conversations never start.

Then what?

you and i? we go on with our summers and years... we even might forgot about each other. we move on.
not as you and i... but just as you . . . and . . . I . . .

What comes after that?

the occasional "hey, whats new? how are things?" or a happy birthday only when facebook reminds us... if we remain "friends" online.
will we still be blogging? or secretly still reading each others blogs, hoping you and i were still friends or better friends, cuz we realize how much we do actually have in common.

but never commenting.

how do we become better friends if neither of us know where to start?

i miss you sometimes. i wish were we back in HS, texting, in Mr.Flores' choir class. . . .

i tried something new something old and have something blue.. whats next?

i really love being single, and not alone. i really like not having someone ask me what I’m always doing... do i have a tattoo or sticker on my head that says “hey ask me out, then do something creepy”
I’m starting to think i do.

WhiteU walks by our office everyday and for the past few months has been staring at me when he walks by... last week he came into the office and started small talk, which was weird. and “had always wanted a reason to come talk to” me. okay i knew right then he’d ask me out. he did that following monday (this past monday) he came into the office on his day off and talked to me, supa wife, the boss, and another pro for 2 hours! then everyone else but me got called off to do things and he asked me out. i told him I’d think about it.

then this past friday i told him no. i wasnt looking for a relationship for at least 3 years.. he said he’d wait.

later that night he asked what i was doing, i said watching cartoons and he said “ i love how you watch cartoons” I’ve know him all of 6 days. This may seem like he is trying to hard to get me to either talk to him or notice him, but to me its just creepy!! How can someone “love” something about you if they haven’t even know you a week?


The notes that are posted up before this were for a presentation that I had in my History of Psychology class march 24th, and we A+ it. Our prof said after class “I hope its okay with you, I gave you an A+” (that how I know we actually A+ it! ) research draft due tomorrow!!! I’m nervous and excited.

In my other psyc class, the one where we cant bring the book to class, and we didn’t have a syllabus in… he finally did give us a syllabus this past Thursday, after our test. I’m sure I didn’t do so good on this last test… so I just have to do good on the two essays coming up and the last two tests… so I do have more than enough time to make up the “points” to pass the class.

Pictures Texas- S.L. Partner

these are the pictures that go with the slides, but i dont know what numbers they go to, but it shouldnt be that hard place them. sorry and thanks!!



pebeco



pecebo (This one is the more important one)



rat maze (This one is the more important one)



rat maze



Little Albert



Baby Powder

For Texas- S.L. Partner

Title: Psychology as the Behaviorist Views It
Note: two solutions to the problem
Sub-note: Either animal behavior could be studied independently of psychology OR psychology could be changed to the study of behavior.
Note: in Watson's opinion, again
Sub-note: he believed that introspection was teh problem. he also thought that is psychology continued using introspection, future psychologiest would still disagree over the conscious mind's elements.
Note: Unsuccessfull Karl Lashley
Sub-note: Watson worked for a few years with Karl Lashley. They were studing thought as a faint contactions in the speech musculature (Subvocal speech)
Sub-note: Watson also agured that "feelings" were based on sensations arising from the reproductive organs and erogenous zones.
Sub-note: His discussion of sex was ahead of its time.



Title: Watson at Phipps Psychiatric Clinic
Note: limited space
Sub-note: he had limited lab spaec after the arts and sciences moved to a new campus. Adolf Meyer offered Watson lab space at the Clinic and Watson eagerly accpeted it.
Note: December 1918
Sub-note: Watson was back at Phipps Clinic, he had to leave because he was "called to active duty" in 1917
Sub-note: before teh war he published an article that talked about 3 basic emotions in infants - fear, rage, and love- the conditioning little albert began



Title: Fear Conditioning in Little Albert
Note: 9 months
Sub-note: at this age Little Albert was only afriad of a suddenly produced loud noise.
Note: 11 months
Sub-note: this is when Watson and Rosalie Rayner started the conditioning of Little Albert
Sub-note: day one, he reached for the white rat, and steel was struk with a hammer behind Little Albert, he started crying. he went home for a week.
Sub-note: the next test, Little Albert was presented with the rat 5 times, and the steel was struk.
Sub-note: 5 days later Albert was tested again to see if he was afraid of the rat, he was. he was also afraid of other white or furry objects.
Sub-note: another 5 days later, Albert came back, and was still afraid of the rat, but only had a slight reaction to other objects. a dog was presented to him, and he only had a little reaction, until the dog unexpectly backed. Ablbert cryed until the dog was removed.
Sub-note: they tested him a month after that with just the objects. they found out that the fear of the objects was still their just not a intense, so they didnt try to removed the conditioned emotional response.
Note: the 1924 confusion
Sub-note: Mary Cover JOnes was a friend of Rosalie Rayner, (by this time Watsons wife) so watson advise Jones while she worked on a prject to cure Peter.
Sub-note: Peter was a 3 yr old boy, who was afraid fo rabbits and rats.
Sub-note: Jones wanted Peter to not fear such animals. she used "Modeling Therapy" which failed.
Sub-note: Then she sat Peter in a highchair gave him a preferred food, while moving a rabbit closer to him as he ate for teh next sereral days.
Sub-note: by the end, peter showed foundness for the rabbit, and the fear of the rat and other objects were entirely absent.
Sub-note: later Jones reported that she had tried removing fears with a veriaty of different methods concluding that one direct conditioning and social imitation (which failed the first time) worked consistently.



Title: From Behaviorism to Advertising
Note: basically black listed...
Sub-note: after he got involved with a Hopkins student (Rayner), and his very public divorce, he was dismissed. since the newpaper covered the story, no University wanted to risk hiring Watson. so naturally he went to advertising.
Note: History of consumer psychology
http://free-books-online.org/psychology/introduction-to-psychology/consumer-psychology/
Sub-note:j b. watson was the first ever-prominent psychologist to apply principles of psychology in the field of advertising.
watson believed that psychology could not be recognized as a scientific discipline until its practical utility is proved by its application and demonstration in real life situations.
According to watson “If psychology would follow the plan i suggest, the educator, the physician, the jurist, and the businessman could utilize our data in a practical way.”
he himself designed ads for johnson and johnson’s baby powder. in that ad, he not only targeted the emotions and anxieties of mothers, but also used the experts’ recommendations and the impact of using the product.
Sub-note: He also did an ad for Pebeco tooth paste. I couldnt find his exact add, but i found one similar. he add was of a woman smoking. ahowing that smoking made her more sexy, but if she didnt brush her teeth with Pebeco, she lost her sex appeal.
the one i found looks like this lady's boss is asking her to dinner, but it wouldnt have happened if she had stinky breath.



Title: Waton's Learning Theory and the Decline of the Instinct Concept in Psychology
Note: Zing Yang Kuo
Sub-note: he opposed the instinct concept, arguing that "the term instinct was a cloak for ignorance of the subtle behavioral changes that accompany maturation"
Sub-note: he "proved this by raising kittens. if the kittens were raised with thier mothers, they were killing rats before the age of 4 months. but if kittens were raised in cages with rats, they never killed the rats. he concluded "kittens can be made to kill, love, hate, fear, or play with a rat: it depends on the life history of the kitten"
Note: Karl von Frisch
Sub-note: he is best known for his studies of communication by "dances" in honeybees.



Title: In Conclusion
Note: Thorndike is the man! :)
Sub-note: behaviorism began with the work of Pavlov and Watson after Thorndike's animal research. also with Thorndike's work in education and Watson's career in advertising illustrated behaviorism could be applied outside the lab to affect people's lives.

Title: FIN
Note: NO QUESTIONS!! (j/k)




That is the rest of the notes for the slides. sorry about the way you need to receive them.. no email at work, but i can get to my blog.. haha.

Anyways, titles are the titles, Notes would be the main bullet points, and Sub-notes would be the part that isnt seen like my other slides (in the notes of the slides so i can print them out, like the other slides).

SORRY about the spelling errors, work only has IE with the basic progaming which means no spell check...

the new me?

nothing about me has changed. so why was cutting my hair such a big deal? why do a lot of people say that "you can start over" "you are a new person" when really youre not? i guess i like it, but i'm still not sure. anyway, it is cut now, and there isnt anything that can be done about it.
as i said nothing else has really changed, so how can this be the new me?

I'm getting use to my glasses now, which still kind of sucks, and i still have 4 more weeks and three days until my eye appt. i only know i'm use to them now, because my ears dont hurt all day anymore. my ears do start to hurt near the end of the day still, from wearing my glasses all day...

maybe after the summer i can start to be the "new me" that should come with cutting hair.

in the last few days ive been watching movies.. something i havent done for a LONG time.

The movies that i watched this past week were:
Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs
Rango
The Dilemma
The Last Airbender
Never Let Me Go
The Social Network
And i'm currently watching Change of Plans
I'm not sure if movie titles are suppose to be italicize or not... oh well.

other movies i want to see this week are Beastly and Red Riding Hood only because i want to see how bad they converted the cartoon movies of Beauty and the best in to "live-action" and i've been told red Riding Hood sucks, but want to see it anyway for some reason...


yesterday Supa Wife took me to work. She showed up at 12ish to my house because she wanted to go to BJ's for lunch before she dropped me off at work. we were there for about an hour and a half., cuz i didnt have to be to work till 3.
we ended up getting to work early, so we stayed in her car for about 30 minutes. as she was driving in and up the strip to our work, we saw a GOOGLE CAR!! her husband texted her about an hour later and he saw one too!


At work yesterday, there was this Cute boy that dropped his toy behind my desk. as he came over to pick it up he said "excuse me ma'am" i thought it was the cutest thing, he must have been about 4.

then this conversation happened:
Boy- what are you doing?
Me-- my job.
Boy- ooh. what kind of job
Me-- i check people in at this computer.
Boy- ooh. do you have any kids?
Me-- oh No.
Boy- why not? Did the die???
Me-- what *laughing!*
Boy- did they?
Boys Mother -- (NAME!) You CanNot Ask That Question!!
Boy- ooohh. Sorry ma'am
Me-- Its okay, it made me day.

after she was done with her taxes, she came up to me and apologized for what her child had said, she also said that as soon as he asked she was mortified that he even posed the question.

i told her it was fine, and that it was by far one of the funnier things that a child had asked me.

now I'm off to do a test, and finish up my essays.

its gone!

almost all of it....

burts bees i love you so.

i've always been one to say you can never have too many chapsticks. i fell victim to not following my own advice when one of mine melted. i only wish i had found out about burts bees back when i was in high school. carmex is just second best (which makes it 9th in my top ten-- the 8 above being burts bees 'flavors') but second best overall cuz it helps with coldsores/fever blisters. hopefully this supply lasts me a good three years or better since i have them every where. including, but not limited to, my pocket, my purse, my work bag, my back pack, my desk, and very soon both cars. :) oh burts bees, how i love you so.

sweet dreams.

update....s?

first day of wearing glasses all day in a LONG time, and i dont miss it. so this next month is going to Suck! oh well... the things i will go though to (hopefully) forever cure me of needing contact or glasses for the rest of me life!!!

Barry Manilow is still a surreal thing for me... but when i randomly think about "it is actually happening" i get really happy. :) YAY!

My grandparents are going to Mexico on Monday to try an unconventional doctor to help out with my grandpa's cancer. a friend of my grandpas has been going to this doctor for the past ten years to get an unconventional treatment for his [the friend] incurable cancer. when the friend was told that he had cancer, our doctors (in the US) told him he had 6-12 months to live....

My grandpa with Chemo has a 0% curing the cancer/living for more then a year... So they are NOT doing chemo and going to the unconventional doctor... Why in Mexico?? Because after he got his doctor degree here and started doing what he was doing our government told him to "shut the front door" or get out; he left. hopefully it helps.

WhiteMM is done with the drive, and is now moved into (NoName)s house... eehh.

spring break next week.. I'm not sure if i'm excited out not...... I think i'm going to go with not at this point. it might change, but i doubt it.

And last I'm totally going into debt to get this car when it comes out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nYhKD8leAg (not linked)

Why you may asked?? Because its BAD ASS!@@!#@!%%&%$*%@@~!%%*^ That way i'd never actually NEED to learn how to drive (which just in case youre wondering BluestEyes, still havent gotten annnyyy ffuuurrtttherr on. :) haha) i would just need to know the basics... but it wont be out for at least 10+ years, defeating the point of not needing to learn between now and then..... so it is still on my list of "need to do" just not at the top.

please dont be.... aaahh it is!

aaaah! it is. BLUEBERRY! i havent been activly looking, but i found another person that hates blueberry as much as i do. we're not friends, and not going to be although she is in two of my classes... in my harlem ren. class there was a group presentation and at the end for the class "listening to the presentation" the group gave us muffins. blueberry muffins. yuck!

then the class is over and we went to our next class, shakespeare. both me and this other girl were trying to pawn off the nasty muffins.. no one wanted them :( so now we have to go home with these nasty muffin. lucky me people at my house eat nasty things, i dont know about the other girl.

2 things con't the :( one.

the sad thing for today:
i put my favorite flavor of berts bees chapstick through the washer and dryer today. !! all melted. now i have to use the normal one which, cuz i kept losing them, i have 6 of. so not a big deal, but i want to go buy more of this new one. (the picture in the last blog) i think it is really fantasic.

work is super slow, but i get paid hourly and get 21 hours a week. so i'm really not complaining other then i get bored.

school is going good. my psych 1 teacher still hasnt given us a syliabus, but gave us a handout that explains the paper we have to do.. and the first line says "the syliabus explains the grades, refer to that if you have questions" then goes on to out line our paper.

i took test one for my psych 2 class and got a 92/110. the second test is this wkend.

Oh!! & WhiteMM is driving 10 hrs away tmrrw/moving in with (NoNameYet).

i have 6 papers to do next wk btwn my 4 classes, & due w/in the 2wks after spring break. doing'em early, no time later. :)

2 things. this is the :) one

2 things happened today. one good and one made me sad :(
happy thing today:
my mom turned in an application to Lackland base eye center. this app was the first step to a long process to see if i can be approved for lasik. yay. a lady called me this morning as i was waking up to get ready for work, to ask and make sure some answers were the same as the paper. i was told that i couldnt wear my contacts for a MONTH and got an appt for april 11th at 7 am for a 3.5hr long eye appt so they can run a bunch of tests and dielate(sp) my eyes. after that i will find out if i have passed the second step to the lasik process.
this meant my mom and i had to go to eyemasters and change my lenses today and not this coming weekend. insurance cover the frames and lenses (my old frames were to worped(sp) to work with (cuz they are plastic) so my new ones are the exact same color and brand) didnt pay anything. awesome! i like being able to still be on my dads coverage. (the lasik is free as well)

poster..?

this is a more close up picture... i hope this one comes out better in how the picture looks... if not i'll have to figure out another way of blowing up the picture without distorting it.

WICKED!

This is my year! :)

on a whim my mom bought Wicked! tickets, so i saw it again!! aaaahhhh!

at the end they asked for a moment of our time and told us about this organization that is helping and researching drugs for people with HIV and AIDS... they were asking for everyone to give just 2$ (which would raise 4490 for just that night). if you donated 75 you got a backstage tour with the people that played Nessarose and Fiyero of that night, 50 got you a poster with everyones signature, and 20 got you a reuseable bag.

my mom and i have a weird exchange of money right now, so she just added what i owe her already with the 50 and got me the poster.

woooo-hooo.. although it isnt Kristin Chenoweth (Glinda) or Idina Menzel (Elphaba). >:P damn your (NoName)!

wanna know...?

wanna know what i just realized today...

i have no one else to realize how awesome my color-coding skills are.
tomorrow, since i havent in a long time, i have decided to wear all of one color. i am wearing all orange... but no one will know. But it is pretty awesome, being able to go to school and just being proud of me for no other reason then feeling pretty. :)

also i have an essay due in Shakespeare... not to thrilled about it

Vegas and Mr. Barry Frickin' Manilow!

bought the tickets today.
I'm finally going to be able to see Barry Manilow in Vegas. AND i get to MEET him and take pictures and get stuff signed by him and have pre-show champagne. we also booked the hotel today witch is an 8 minute walk (according to google maps) from where the concert is going to be. i dont need to buy a plane ticket cuz i still have free ones from last year that expire July 15th... And we're going June 1st- June 6th. :D Super excited!

All i'm sayin' is that if he signs any part of my body, i'm coming home with a tattoo.

also i'm sure my boss is getting mad at me.. when he is given the schedule, tweaks it to his liking, something with my timing messes it up.

good example would be feb 10- feb 14 he had me working 4 days and i could only go in one day cuz i got super nasty sick, i couldnt move from body aches. and now this week i am working wednesday from 2p-7p... but as of today my mom bought tickets for Wicked! (730 wed) so i had to tell him and am now working 12p-6p, but he needs someone to do my job until 7. but he is letting me go home early... so hopefully (only so i can get the job back next year) i have NO more schedule changes.

So far my summer is filling up.. anyone else want me to do something over the summer? If so you should call my agent and book something i have very few days left. :)

so WhiteMM has a new boyfriend that i'm going to be meeting in the summer after i get back from Vegas.
she has known him 5 years, like him less than 3 months, has been dating him 4 days... and she is moving in with him in 2ish weeks.

i'm not mad, and i;m not her mother, but i dont want her to jump into something too soon and get hurt again.... well "we'll" see how this plays out.... i only say we cuz it'll mostly be me, and then depending on how personal the info is this will be updated and informed.

technology why do you hate me so?

a week ago friday, i was at work filing papers in the back.. i had the random urge to take a picture of how a newest CSP filed (it was bad).
so i took the picture.
i was going to post it to facebook & my blog right then for a before i fixed it. but i didnt for some reason. about an hour later i was done fixing it and filing the new papers so i took another picture "the after picture" & i realized when i went to go select a pic to send and a bunch of them were big question marks.

then my phone froze. so i turned it off & on hoping that would fix it... i was too late. i went back into my pictures & all the pics that i took in the last 2 months were wiped. my sd card either recoded itself or died. everything gone.
but i should have known.. i had a "feeling" the night before that i wanted to take off my pics... & i should have cuz last time i got that "feeling" (& i took off my pics) my phone got stolen the next day.
stupid me.
&dad if u can save the sd card i dont remember what theyre of

get to the point!

this bunny was left at our tax office. some kid has probably been crying for over a week about losing this bunny. :(

my history of psyc prof is finally out of the hospital, and came to class today. he's been out for 3 weeks. so hopefully he is better and continues to get better.

my other psyc prof is still pissing me off! this is nearly the 6th week of class and he still hasnt given us a syllabus. we also took our first test in his class this past Tuesday and did actually get them back today. i got a 74 on it when we started class and by the time class was over i had a 78. he "gave" us 5 of the questions cuz he messed up on wording, doubled the question, or has two answers right to one question. 3 of the 5 i had right, so i got 6 extra points on top of the already right answer. yay me. :D

my Harlem Renaissance Eng prof had our first essay due today. and i feel fantastic about it. i'm really good at writing essays, so i have faith i got at least a B.

and my Shakespeare Eng gave back our in-class writing today.. and ... i got a B-.
But that is better then i thought, because i had just about 3 paragraphs on my page and the people around me were basically writing essays. so i didnt feel to confident when i wrote it... but now i know she wants people to get to the point.. Just the kind of prof i like. :)

well that is that update...
still sickish.. have a lingering cough that just wont go away. and getting up at 6ish/7ish tomorrow to go to the base with my dad and deal with military people to get back on medical insurance. i hate dealing with those people, but they dropped me after last semester so i've been with out insurance for over 2 months.
then i get to go to work for a 12 hour shift tomorrow.. I love money. :)

the rides and the redeo

so today dommo and i both did something neither of us have done.

lets start this off with we went to the redeo and its a ton of fun! on our search for cotten candy with out red 40 of yellow 5 we found a ride that dommo wanted to ride. and she asked me to go with her... so i said sure cuz it goes in a big circle how bad could that be?
i also found one that i wanted to go on. it is a boat like ride that only goes back and fouth (or up and down depending on how you think of it).. this is where dommo put her hands up, and she'd never done that before on a ride.
NEXT was "the himmalias" which had a bunch of ski stuff all over the walls. this ride was interesting cuz as it went around it got faster and i was sliding in the seat to other side where dommo was sitting.
next was this flippy ride. every time it goes it is a random ride.. your feet hang and it flips! 2 of three things i swore i'd never do..& well.. now i have, with dommo. it was scary and my hair flipped out of my hoodie. haha :)

mmmm... :)

i hope this is as good as it sounds. i dont like cookies in almost every circumstance, but this sounds good... so hopefully it is. i'll update if it is or not.... its at subway is San Antonio, Texas. i'm bored and an hour early for my shift so i'm wasting time sitting here... its better then sitting in the rain outside my office.


**update:
It wasnt that good.. I'm not a big cookie fan as i said, but it didnt impress me at all.

yay for super early morning traffic.... bleh.
still feel like poopy but going to work today.

today! of all days today...

i woke up this morning felling like poopy. i went to school hoping that as the day went on i would feel better. it was quite the opposite for today. with each class i had, a new ache, pain, or symptom appeared.

psych 1 - my throat started to hurt, it hurt to sallow my drink and breakfast.

psych 2 - found out my teacher is in the hospital with a severe upper respiration infection, and he'll be out for at least 3 weeks. we'll be having a sub... yay! this is about the time my sinuous started to hurt really bad, and my ears started to hurt. BLEH!

English 1 - i started getting a headache and i was getting tired of being at school, and physically exhausted.

English 2 - a slight cough started and i was trying not to fall asleep in class.

and through all the classes someone complained that the room was too warm, and i was freezing all day!


Then my mom started texting me, she is in CA until next week cuz her dad had surgery today. ... he has had some problems for that past year, and for the past 6 months has been going many doctors to find out what is wrong. no doctor knew. they had an invasive surgery today to biopsy a piece of some mass in the artery that leads from his heart to his stomach.

after hours of waiting and after he came out of surgery they found out its cancer.
they don't know what kind though, they are testing it and wont know for two weeks. after they hopefully find out what it is they will start Chemotherapy.

what a perfect way to end such a perfect day.

*correction, what a crappy way to end a very crappy day.

I'm calling in to work to be sick and cry tomorrow. :( I'm glad WhiteMM came down.

REBA! WOOO-HOOO!

at the rodeo! reba is the concert tonight!
this is one of my favorite songs by her. she has an amazing voice!!
yesterday we were here and bill engval was here and as funny as ever. hahaha.
tonight just before reba came out the guy behind me was getting back into hus seat and spilt beer on me. my sister had gone to get some ice cream but if she was sitting next to me she would have been hit too. since she wasnt her jacket was tagged.

this is the third time i've seen reba in the last year and she is still fantastic...

"I am finally thinking for myself" - hahaha!

you should treat life like a cat-- forget all the negative things between feedings.

when trying to belittle me, you should really stop and fully think about what you say before you end up belittling yourself.


Thanks for the lesson on that r.b.o. and bbj's

and most of the thanks should go to a99104. :)

its been 25 years since snow... in SA

but i dont classify this as snow persay... it doesnt mean it wont be snow in a few hours. so the weather people were expecting snow.. and well it isnt exactly snow it is a snow ish like substance.. its falling ice but not huge damage your car hail pieces. nonetheless people here cant drive in rain how is anything going to be accomplished for tomorrow by needing to drive in icey conditions.... i wonder if i'll still need to go to work... since most of the rest of the city will be shut down due to hazardous road conditions. and freezing cold weather ... yay! :)

(is it worse or worst) apples ever

i should have known better, but i did it again. this place is good but in the morning it sucks. the apples they offer for the kids meals are even worse! they are Always browing and getting moldy.... and what does this (branch of the) company do with moldy apples?? they let the costurmer(sp) complain about them.. every bag in the front fridge AND back fridge is browning and getting soft. the yogurt is always disgusting.. i know i should just get a 6" but i usually 'aint feelin that' for breakfast.
it doesnt help that the employees dont give a shit. they could be getting at least 20 kids sick a month with the nasty apples. dont go to the subway on Marbach... if there is another i should avoid let me know... i should have taken a picture of the apples but i didnt think of this post until after i threw them out & the employee tried to give me another bag that look 3xs worse. bleh!

today is another day at work, but today is a particularly crap, cuz i wanna get off early with no ride home.

what will delay us next?

i've three days of class already, since i only go to school on tuse/thurs. my dad has been taking his lunch break to take me class cuz i still dont drive. on my first day of class we ran into half of the access road (the left side to get onto the highway) blocked off cuz the city was re-tarring the road. the next tuse (this last one) we got stuck IN a funeral presession... the some jackass cop on a motorcycle pulled up next to us and honked at us... he was trying to tell us to get out and go to the next lane when a semi was coming... so we had to change lanes. i hate do..shh cops. day three -slash- yesterday the left lane of the highway was closed off cuz the city was changing out the dead highway lights.

what will we run into next.....? hahaha

June 9th 2010

"Tigger ate our screen door... basically. He was left outside during the rain and as usual he freaked out and tried to get back in.... and i guess kept jumping on the door and tore the bottom half off.

We all though our dad may be a little mad about it, but it didnt even bother him... It kind of sounded like he had compassion for the dog, and sympathized with him being outside in the rain... And he has been wanting to replace the door for a while now; this just gives him the motive to do it."



That is part of the blog post... and we still havent replaced the screen door, or at the least the screen part to the back door.
but its not a big deal. it still works, we just cant open the little window part because then the bugs can get in and my cat can get out... and Jake would stick his big nose in and get clawed by War.

H&R block is FUN!

working there is fun to me.. BUT the rehiring process is not so much because they always seem to lose my application (Which is done ONline...)

i went to a CSP job fair

so i contact bill.. and apparently H&R had a "boss meeting" today.. and bill told jason that i was trying to contact someone. so Bill told jason to contact me.. and we didnt set anything up for a particular day because he had another class at 6.. and it was 555...

so hopefully he calls me back tonight or tomorrow with some kind of interview information. But he said that he "has heard 'good' things about me from the people at the meeting" (so i'm guessing bill and stacey..) and i wonder what they have said.. haha

Next...
If they hire me back on ... i may be going back to work without any new CSP training.. cuz the only training they have for CSPs is next week on tuseday and wednesday and *** Dress Rehearsal *** on thursday for everyone in the office. (and i'll be gone until the 4th of Jan)



*^^*&$*(#Q^* This blog was made before i went to Connecticut for christmas break... But now.. i found it again.

So for the newest update about this, i did get back on the 4th, and went to training on the 6th (they had to make a 'make-up' training for me and about 8 other people) and then i went to work on the 7th.
and now i've been at work since and school recently started up last thursday for me.. so i have to figure out a schedule that works for me... so i am able to juggle school and work effectively without both suffering. but if one has to suffer it would be work first.

Happy, happy birthday!

Today my brother turns 20! Yay!! :)

Thrusday i had my first day of classes... :s
I have 4 classes or 12 hours this semester.
2 psychology classes and 2 English classes.

Social Psychology 12:30 pm - 1:50 pm TR
History and Systems of Psyc 2:00 pm - 3:20 pm TR
Spec Topic:Harlem Renaissance 4:00 pm - 5:20 pm TR
The Major Plays of Shakespeare 5:30 pm - 6:50 pm TR

The first Psych class i have seems like it will be easy.. but looks are very deceiving. The teacher/professor is very easily distracted.. so hopefully if we dont cover something in the class it wont be required to study for the tests.

The next Psych class that i have is going to be a lot harder!

i'll have to fix and finish this later.. :(


Update:
My second psych teach smacks his lips every sentence! it is so obnoxious! and he just talks.. and goes on tangents.. but when he talks i'm not even sure if those are his notes and i should be writing what he says or if i can find his notes online somewhere... or if he is just going to talk and i have to just read the chapters intently and write down the things i dont understand to go over in class.

Then i have the two English classes.

English class number one. the teacher wants to be called by her first name Ann or by Dr. Bliss. nothing else, no mrs or misses or ms. she has lived over half her life in CA, and Texas but she has been able to somehow maintain her British accent. so that is awesome! :) and she sweats a LOT.. maybe it is just nerves. but it doesnt matter that much, just something i've noticed.

and my last English teacher for the Shakespeare course is from the Philippines, so i really cant understand much if anything that she says... and its really bugging me, because i dont think i'm going to do so hot if i dont know what she is saying... and i dont want to be rude, but i hope i'm not the only one that doesnt understand her....

starting a boring day...

noticed... that the song "falling to pieces" in the beginning sounds just like the song that starts out with "i'm givin' up, i'm givin' up slowly"
i've been thinking about it everytime i hear the song but i didnt remember/think of it until just now while sitting in subway waiting for 10am to roll around. it does help that faling to pieces came on the radio.r is required.

smashburger problem.

today i went to smashburger with my parents and brother.
i had a "create your own" chicken sandwich. I ordered the crispy chicken, chipotle bun, buffalo and chipotle sauces, pickles and jalapeno vegges and pepper jack cheese.

I GOT crispy chicken, Wheat bun, mayonnaise covered up by the chipotle sauce and drenched in the buffalo sauce (way to much of all three) Tomatoes, lettuce, 3 pickles and a few jalapenos and NO cheese.
I did ask the person walking around for more pickles. but other then that i was so mad with the incompetence of the person who put it together that i didnt go and correct it.. i had a feeling i would have been there all night and wasted more food trying to get it right.

when i asked for more pickles the lady i asked went and asked another guy and he was "joking" (says my dad) but her was getting on her case about how the order he got said No pickles so he wasnt going to give her any, and that went on for about 4 minutes so i was waiting to eat my food because he thought it would be funny. and when i thought about it, the order said NO tomatoes... but he didnt even read that right..
so the receipts should really have a print out of NO "this" and ADD "that" under all the orders of burgers and chicken sandwiches.

i havent been to smashburger very many times, and i only ever get the things dealing with chicken, but they have never gotten my order right! because of that tonight was the last night and i will never go back there again.

with the ice inside your soul

why is it so hard for me to write a blog now? there are so many great ideas in my head that i want to write down, for no other reason then to get them out of my head.
as for this title and the last one (and possibly the next few) its been the song stuck in the back of my mind for about the last 2-3 weeks. jar of hearts by christina perri. i'm making it the song of the week... 'member that thing that i was trying to do about 1.5 months ago.. well i forgot about it.

you're gonna catch a cold...

the first "full" day out in Connecticut we went to a store that has one step above what i have in Texas. at this store you get one of the scanner things and you go through the store and scan your own items. and at the end you scan a barcode at a self service cashier and place the scanner in a charger thing and you just pay. so you dont even need to take the things out of your cart (unless you need bags-- but my aunt and uncle have reusable bags so they dont take anything out of the cart). then you scan your coupons, pay and leave. at the store in Texas for the self service lines you have to take your stuff out of the cart, scan it, then bag it on a weight. you also have to leave everything on the weight until you are done with everything out of your shopping cart.

after the store we went back home and talked watched some tv, made dinner and then went to the "candlelight" concert that my aunts eldest son was in.


and that was my first day. i will try to remember to post the details of my other days in the next week or so.. until then i'm off to bed now because i'm going into NYC again tomorrow to go to the crown of the Statue of Liberty.

why so mean?

he looks pissed, no? oh poor Famine.

i thought of something the other day that i had forgotten about.. the song of the week. one that has been in my head for a while has been jar of hearts by some female of which i forget the name.

so after i landed in connecticut we had dinner. it has been the only time (up until yesterday) that i didnt have a home cooked meal while here. my aunt and uncle home cook everything but pizza. they even have a compost. i've been tasting everykind of wine that is around, and its def.ly something that is an aquired taste. i dont think i have the aquire for it. but its good for 'you'. i even tried some coneact(sp). it was gross. the first four days i was here all we did was make cookies. a plate for a teacher apperiaction lunch, a plate for a school dance, a plate for aunts church, a plate for a christmas party. thats a lot of cookies!

last for this post is my aunts youngest child is enforcing the reason of why i will never produce spawn for this world >:|

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where is the bathroom?

follow the duck feet. this past monday i went on a plane all by myself. yay me. my day started at about 815. my dad and i got up to go to the vet to get more flee meds for the cats. before we left my dad put my stuff into the car. when we got home about 845, we had to pick up Famine first (cuz hes the brat with the med). after he ran off we scooped up War & gave him the med. when that was done i went around the house & took pictures of the people and pets then my dad and i got in the car and my dad drove me off to the airport. my flight from SA to DC was almost 4 hours. on the plane we were able to watch "the Switch" *for free*. my next flight was lame. the pilot made us wait for 30 after we were suppose to leave for the lav to be cleaned out. wasted time cuz no one used in the the hour flight. when i got to NY/Conneticut we went to Stew Lenoards(sp) that was fun. then we wemt home &
got settled in. it was about 830/9 so i ate something, watched tv for a while then called it a night!!!

"Told you from the start.. I'm only gonna break.. your heart"

One friend likes pictures with blog posts. :)



December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

breaking up with MnotT i would have to say was the wisest... How did it play out? like a low budget break up movie.

after i broke up with him his mom had a fit, then she immedeatly tried to patch things up. MnotT on the other hand had a mental/emotion fit. And all he did with his outbreak was confirm that i didnt want to be friends with him anymore. No big loss on my end. not even a big deal...
Now he has become even more childish, and he refuses to let his mom mention me/my name. But she still wants to be friends with me regardless of his current PMS attitude. I dont even know what i did to make him hate me so much. GICK

With current events, i still dont know how to feel about his mom. She wants to be friends i know that, but it seems like she is still mad at me. she can still snap in an instant which worries me, but still wants to talk to me for some reason.

Moral of the stuff above:
Keep your emotions in Check! And when you get into a New relationship dont let yourself "fall in love" in less then 2 weeks, cuz when shit hit the fan everyone smells it.


NEXT:
this will (hopefully) be the last thing i ever mention about MnotT. I told you from the start that i wasnt a good person to date. I told you i was going to ruin the relationship, and that would ruin the friendship. You read my blogs before we started dating you Knew that i wasnt going to be good. Yet for some reason you thought you could "change me" and that "we'd be fine" and "some other crap." But I Told You. You Knew!
The main reason i started dating you is because i just gave up fighting you about your pointless reasons on why we should date, and how you thought i would be different... so i guess it was more of a point i was trying to make. Either i knew you wanted to ruin our friendship because you wouldnt be able to keep your emotions in check OR you wanted to try and "change me"... it turned out to be both.

People dont change. they just put up fronts until they are comfortable with the people around them. I Know My Own M.O. when it comes to dating. its been in place since my first boyfriend. (that is the last 15 years of my life) there is no way you are going to change it.

So its your own fault that you feel in love for someone who told you not to and told you it was destined to fail.

Moral of this section: when someone says something they know is a fact about themselves, dont try and change that persons mind... You'll just look like a ska-do-shh after its all said and done.

*these morals are strictly opinion and not supported by the blog site.. and blah blah whatever else is said when live show

our new cat toy

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

This past Saturday my family and I made a huge cat scratcher. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=585901&id=631595051 (linked in title)

we used:
SUPPLIES
•10 x wide elbows (Lowes part number: 96076 A21 2X1 ANGLE)
•2 x narrow elbows (Lowes part number: 315683 STAN 1-1/2” ZN CNR BRC)
•22 x .5 inch washers
•26 x .75 inch screws
•44 x 1 inch screws
•2 x scrap lumber (½ inch thick, by 3.5 inches wide, by 36 inches long)
•1 x concrete tube (10 inches in diameter, by 48 inches tall)
•1 x edge-glued wood panel .75 inches thick, by 20 inches wide, by 36 inches long
•½ bucket of plaster (about 6 lbs) **WE modified this with a 50 pound bag of sand)
•A few feet of duct tape
•5 x rolls of sisal (.25 inches thick, by 100 feet long, for a total of 500 ft)
•1 x plywood circle (12 inch diameter or 18 inch if you have two or more cats)
•1 x circle of foam (12 inch diameter or 18 inch if you have two or more cats)
•1 x circle of cloth batting (12 inch diameter or 18 inch if you have two or more cats)
•1 x large bottle of fast-drying wood glue (16 oz) **WE used a hot glue gun
•1 x piece of cloth or carpet to cover the top platform (I used a cotton bath mat.) **and we used carpet that we pulled up in the summer when we were redoing the dinning room.
We also have “two or more cats” so we used the bigger options where they apply.


it only took about 6-8 hours to complete and our cats were trying to use it before we were done making it.
And my dad claims that they dont like it because he never sees them use it... But they use it ALL the time.. He is usually at work when they use it the most. :) i think they do it on purpose so he cant see them use it.

my cat, Famine, likes to perch at the top, and War likes to get a running start and jump as high as he can... Then spider-man around the side before he starts to stretch and scratch on it.

lots to say, and so little attention

meaning i have a lot of things that i want to type... which i'll have to do over numerous blogs given that most people only read about half a page worth before they get bored.. haha....

87% of statistics are made up on the spot.. :) meaning, I dont know how much people actually read before they get bored of my posts...



this shirt is its very own optical illusion.


:
December 5 – "Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?"

i've been starring at this prompt for the last 2 hours on and off, its now 315 am, its really hot in my room for some reason and its really cold outside, and we dont run the heater or ac.... so it should be cold because my room is attached to the attic. But it is not. it is really hot. off the side note and onto the prompt.

i was given up on and gave up on this year. relationship wise that is. BUT the past is the past, and even though everyone dwells on the past now and then, and it can not be changed. both were good moves. looking back on the fours years i spent with the first give up wasnt all a waste of time... but looking back the majority of it was. after the first year it moot i'd have to say...

So it was a really good snap back to reality. things like that just cant... scratch that, shouldnt exists in the world.

And then there was MnotT... Thank your higher power that i decided my schooling was MUCH more important then that... seeing the true colors of people you think you know can be a real shell shock...

But both things are behind me now, and they can both kiss my ass when back there too.. So fortunately i only hold anger/dislike for short periods of time before i'm done with them completely..

I was done with LP around the end June, then he found his way back into my life.. but i wasnt angry with him anymore.

I was done with MnotT promptly 3 days after i broke up with him. well i decided i wasnt going to try to date him anymore. Then He Pulled the weekend with WhiteMM, and now i'm done with him completely. and he isnt finding a way back in.. SO if you ever come across this MnotT since i'm not text/emailing/writing you OR telling you in person or over the phone, i dont want you to contact me ever again. if you do try to contact me you will be ignored. and as for your mom, unfortunately for her by what you have done has flipped sides from over a month ago and you have permanently damaged the friendship your mom was trying to have with me again, and for good.. But i think i will be decent enough to let her know that you fuxed it up and not her.

tomorrow/today (Wednesday the 15th) i have to make two lists. list number one is of the things i canNOT forget while i'm packing this weekend for my trip to Connecticut. list number two is the things from most important to "would be cool" that i would like to do while out in Connecticut.. (since i've been told to plan for at least a day at most a weekend in New York).. I should try and have these lists done by 5... so with the now time i have 12 hours to do this in. :)


I'm not even tired, but i guess i must go to sleep and get a head start on my packing. this way it lessens my chance of forgetting.... hopefully.. Hopefully i pay attention to the things i use daily so i know to pack them the night before.

how dare you...

Oh girly crush, why do you present yourself at the worst possible time?

What are you thinking!?

it amazes me how fast i can go from my "im 21" state of mind to "ooohhh he is cute/nice/funny/(other words of nice-ness)" from I'm going to act my age because i'm in college to how tween act around their crushes. I thought this crush would be over by now, as i havent seen said person in 5-7 days... unfortunately for me we're friends on facebook, so i cyber-stalked all of his pictures. i have to stop myself from being that annoying person that you're not really firends with but they comment on all of your pictures, or like them all. it is really hard... But this is not somethign i want to think about right now.. its not like i have anything better to do for the next month... but I'm not going to the same school as him next semester, so there isnt even a point in bringing it up to him or telling anyone who it is.....



Even if we did go to the same school, we didnt really talk during class. So just because i have a lame-o highschool crush on him doesnt mean anything would come of it, or that it would last.

next point..
I really wish i didnt have such a negative attitude towards relationships... i think if i had more faith in them working i wouldnt ruin the ones i go into.
So even if said crush knew i wouldnt date him, because we'd be better friends then bf/gf.

But this crush,....... grrrr its driving me crazy.



Why, oh why, did i start acknowledging this crush NOW and not while i could have talked to him during our classes together.

getting things done!

Today was a good day for getting a lot done!!

I feel very accomplished today.

I had 2 finals today, and was done by 1pm; so now i'm done with this semester.
after that i went home, and my dad was already home waiting for me. he took off half the day so that we could go down to the Texas A&M San Antonio campus to Register :s we got there when they started at 2. and i talked to an adviser... i really dislike advisers for no reason. I really wish they would just tell us which classes to take in which semesters and all we had to do was pick the classes. This way i wouldnt have run into the problem of "oooh i wanna take this class" "this class not found, try again next semester" "grrrrrrr...." that happened to the whole first schedule i wanted to take. then i had to do it again (i HATE making my class schedule). the second time two of the classes i wanted were closed, so yet again back to the classes and schedule.... FINALLY i got classes that i need to take, but didnt want to take this semester...
two English classes, and two psychology classes. all on T/R 12:30 - 7 back to back.

I do need to get an updated transcript from SFA though, cuz the only one i have is opened and they dont take opened ones, and the most current one is Sp of 08, and i attended there Fa 09, so they are missing a semester. i also have this coming up summer booked (at least the first half) two take my final two language classes. French 2 and something else of "language" 1 so i can get the 12 hours out of the way.

NEXT
after we came back home it was about 4ish. i sat at home and did nothing, because i had nothing to do. I waited for my mom to get home so that my sister, mom and i could go out and about the town.
we went to hobby lobby, they didnt have what we were looking for.
we went to anna's linen and things, they didnt have what we were looking for.. but we did end up buying Dommo a Christmas gift.
we went to Target, and got scarfs, hats, gloves, and ear covers. each of these things are on my check list to take to Connecticut. we also got these things for my sister and Dommo. My mom got 2 dress shirts, and some nice pants for my dads company Christmas party today (Friday the 10th).
Then we went to Wal*Mart and still didnt find what we were looking for at Hobby Lobby, but found a good substitute.


What we were looking for:
Star Wars fabric so that my sister could make Dommo a stocking. We found two kids shirts instead and cut them up.



So Verrrry Accomplished today.
finals over - check
school over - check
A&M reg. - check
Mom's dinner clothes- check
Dommos stocking - check
Other gifts for Dommo- check
Get new carmax- check
and start checking things of my check list for Connecticut - check

Looking for ward to ...

Thursday for so many reasons!

Thursday is my last two finals. and only one if i get my essay turned in by tomorrow. :)

also on Thursday i'm going down to A&M SA with my dad to see if i can register for classes.

and even better then getting classes and next semester straight, its my last day of this semester!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! :D

This semester was FUN. But i'm so ready for it to be over!

In less then 2 weeks i'm on a plane to a COLD place with the chance of snow and i'm staying there for just over 2 weeks. i cant wait.

i'm shaking with antica.................pation!

W2G- dmb455

FUCK YOU MNOTT!

Thank you ever so much by Proving the Very Point i was making in my October 30th "i'm not; but i am" blog. (linked if you need a refresher)

"because they were brought up in an environment were "this action" was acceptable so to them it is."

Flashback-
Lunch on Saturday, WhiteMM wanted to go to lunch with MnotT and I, but he didn't want me to be there. Why? because he is still butt hurt that i broke up with him, and mostly because of that blog post, basically saying that i wouldnt date him again. he Intentionally was an asswipe to me. that doesnt hurt my feelings, just so you know it only makes you look like an asswipe.

Today--I'm going to say i dont care about you, and i dont, in any sort of happy feeling way. I do not have good feelings, but do have feelings towards you. I despise you. You are seriously Fucking pissing me off with your 12 year old games. I take back all my "sorrys". i dont give a shit that i hurt your feelings, its been over two months, get fucking over it. and by the attitude that you Intentionally showed to me on Saturday i dont care to Ever be your friend again. So Way To Go On Ruining Any Kind Of Friendship You And I Could Have Had!

GOD DAMN YOU!

Unfortunately when this happened i just blew it off, and when i thought about it earlier today, it ruined my day, and its probably going to have me pissed all day tomorrow as well.

so AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've come to the recent conclusion

That i wish i were asexual.

i dont like most, if not all, guys. and women are just boobs with some spunk to them.. but for most of them they just complain to much about anything (i dont talk to that kind, so if i talk to you and you are female, i have not mentally placed you in that group)

So there is no point for me to look for a boyfriend, because he'll just piss me off.... daily, at least 5 times in a 24 hour time period. and women constantly annoy me.

therefor i need to be asexual, no point in me being straight and no point in me being gay, either way there is no marriage or intentional off spring to come of either situation.

My chirstmas, might be a white one after all

My dad recently bought me two things for Christmas. a laptop, and a plane ticket.
the laptop he got on sale on black Friday, and the plane ticket is to Connecticut from December 20th to January 4th. I'm visiting my dads sister (my aunt Jeanette) and family.

So i have to make a list of the foods i dont like to eat so she knows what to mostly avoid on trying to feed me. and a list of places sites or such that i would like to visit while there for those two weeks. and hopefully i'll get to see snow. :)

There’s a project, reverb

There’s a project, reverb, that provides daily prompts for people to blog about in the hopes of reflecting on the year 2010. I found this on BluestEyes blog, and the link to the project is in the title.



As i was reading BluestEyes' answer to this following question, i had an answer, just as she did when she read the answer of another.

The question: Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Tornado. This was the first answer that came in my head.
This year was beautiful, dark, powerful, destructive and somewhat boring.

it started out good. the new year always does, for me. its the best time of the year to clean your slate and start anew. this good feeling lasted about 3 months. as my job was winding down and getting read yo close shop, i ran into a shit storm.

*Insert Break-Up Scene Here* the only thing i thought i had going for me was Destroyed in seconds. it felt great (note the sarcasm) for about 3 weeks, then i was pissed and tired of being mad, sad, and tired. So i stopped caring. This is about the time it got dark. when i stopped caring about what had happen to me, i unintentionally stopped caring about everything going on around me too.

and i made a blog. :) i would have to say if you want to tell everyone you dont know about the things you want to tell someone, post it in a blog. and every time something happens, and you dont know exactly how to say it, or you just want to rant, post it in a blog. when you think you've run out of friends that care to hear about the same thing over and over and over again, because it still bothers you, Post It In A Blog! The blog doesnt care, but that doesnt matter because you care, and if you have people that read it, they dont need to care... at least someone else is reading your rant which was the point to begin with.

Then it got powerful... i basically paid it forward. I listened to two of my friends about their relationships, and all they seemed to do was complain about it.. i never make the decision, but i just talk to people about whatever they want to talk about.. I am always on the side of my friend, even if it tends to be the wrong side. I voice what i'm thinking about it, and tend to be quite blunt without care or feeling, and help them make powerful choices that will change the next few month to rest of their lives.
WhiteMM and MnotT both broke up with the partner at that time for one reason or another.
i wanted both partners out of the lives of my friends, but i never push it or make the decision. so if they wanted to stay with those people i would have just questioned it, and dealt with it.
WhiteMM is much happier for it, and i dont know about MnotT. he might not be so happy now.

This is about the time the destructive comes in. I'm a very destructive person. and when it comes to relationships when i want out i dont tell the person that i'm done i try to push them away. i ruin or sabotage it intentionally to see if the person would get the hint that i just dont care anymore. I'm an uncaring person. i have feelings but i dont let enough people see them or get to them for them to be hurt in anyway what-so-ever.
I intentionally dont attach myself to people or call anyone a friend because when they stop talking to me, or we stop hanging out it wont hurt.

This is my own choice, and this will be my downfall when i get older and join the "real world" but i dont care to change right now. So far i've ruined every relationship i've been in except one... And it wasnt the one with LP. and the one that would have been the best thing for me i pushed away because i was scared.

my perfect boyfriend. a guy how puts up with the shit i bring, who makes the relationship interesting at least once a week so i dont get bored and back out, and who doesnt care to see me daily or (current state of mind) want to live with me in the future.

Here is the boring... i dont do anything anymore. i do daily things, but i dont go out with people, i dont try to make friends, all i do it go to school and go home. so there isnt much to goo off of when people ask how my week or weekend went... my response is "it went.. i didnt do anything note worthy"

THE NEW YEAR:
I would like it to be like a beach.
gritty and dirty sometimes, but nice and beautiful and Clean most of the year.




Now on to the random things...

I think i'm getting better at driving, i have only driven from the mail box to the house which is about 1/4 of a mile or so with the speed limit of 20 mph.

i had a wired non-sexually hot dream the other night... it is to strange to talk about. but i sort of told the person that was in the dream what the outline of the dream was. they were "flattered"

all but one final is this week, when "finals" are next week. I have one "final" next week but its not really a final, its just a presentation of our sex research.

My dance is on Saturday night (dec 4th) and we have it all, we just have to pretend to know what were doing even if we dont. its going to be so much fun! Yay dance class!



And last thing, when i started this blog i first told my 4 (at the time) best friends, now its only 2 1/2, and all of them had their own excuse not to read it. then i told others. LP was still reading it when i told a few more people about it, and i didnt much care for him to, but had no way of stopping him so i just gave up on it. but the people that are suppose to "be there" for me dont read, which kind of hurts the feelings that not many get to see. it didnt bother me at first, but i go into much more detail when i blog about something then i ever do or ever will when i retell the story over and over again to each friend. i start out with "have you read my recent update?" and the answers i get back are "no, blogs are boring to me", "no, lol, i forgot. what is the address thingy [URL] again?", or Oh, my favorite "nope, dont care to"

i know of 3 people for sure that read my blog, and i've come to the conclusion that i'm okay with that. My parents (2 people) and reconnected again officially official friend BluestEyes (reconnected as in back in April-ish)


well this is long enough, so i'm cutting it off.

these are all of the colors. 8 girls, 2 of each color.
i'll try to get a picture of all of us in the between now and december 5th... cuz our dance is the 4th as mentioned before. we're going to be bright!

my computer did what?!?

well our printer has been going on the crap-out for the last month ish... every so often it works, most of the time it doesnt. But that isnt a major issue unless i need to print something out one morning and that happens to be the day it is going on the crap-out.

Which then i have to go to up the school in a rush, usually forget something, and print it out at school.. this wouldnt be a problem either but our school charges for printings now.... SO SUPER LAME! this happened this morning. i went the lab that has free printing, but it was full of students, i guess there was a class going on... So i had to print it out at the library, which i ran into MnotT's mom.... i have been trying to avoid her, but this time i couldnt. bleh.

Either way, i kept my answers short sweet and to the point. i printed out my 9 page paper which cost me .90 cents so that isnt that bad, but it is still lame! we pay a hefty library fee, why isnt the money actually being used for the library, to keep the printing free?! stupid lame way of trying to get EVEN more money out of us at a Community College! 16,000 people go to this school, just up the library fee another 5 bucks and that is a shit-ton of money that could be used to keep printing free.

i also had to check out a book for my phil class. that i have to make notes on. So that what i'll be doing for my break. make note on two book, on is the assigned book, and the other is an outside reading, writing 3 essays, doing two journal logs, and practicing my dance. a lot to do in 5 days.


On to what my computer did:

I plug in a card reader, and my computer refused to read it. i plugged the card reader into every USB drive i have and it just say "generic drive plugged into [this] port"
YES i know that!..... i want to get the information off of it! so read the damn drive!
lame!
I've been having a great day. :D (very sarcastic)

fast foward now to last week

i went to an advising talk during my class break. and i listened to a&m san antonio's talk.. after the talk i asked the adviser how many credits max do they usually talk from transfer students? the adviser said that a&m sa, with little exception they take 88 hours in transfer credits..... YAY me! i have 95 after this semester.. so that was a major shock. i thought i had at least another semester before i had to decide to leave Vista and go to another school.. but NO. life decided for me that it wanted to speed things up faster then what i wanted it to... and now i have to learn to drive, apply to school, get accepted, transfer financial aid, register for classes and learn how to get to the campus and back all by jan 17th ish. omg! aaaaaaahhhhhh

and two weeks ago we decided on these skirts for my dance class, and i ordered them last week after everyone paid me for them, and they came in today. so i'm taking them to class tomorrow to make sure they all fit everyone else. and if they dont i have to return them and hopefully get the new ones in before next Thursday, which is the 2nd of dec... because our final dance in on the 4th of December.

my dad did what?

he hit the jeep.. but its okay it gives my car some personality.. and a bit of pay back cuz when the jeep was his i hit a pole and tree. that dent is a permanent one... this one can eventually be fixed.